Reflection

"Dwelling on the past only blinds you to the future."

3:33. 
It is 3:33 and I feel as if the only thing existing right now, this very minute, is only me. Everything, animate (like me sister) or inanimate, around me is at a standstill. I haven't much to do at this hour, so I might as well reflect on the disaster that is my life. OK  I might be exaggerating just a bit but it definitely is not how I would have pictured it a year or two ago. My grades have slipped and I am conscious about that, and it sucks. It sucks when things don't go according to plan. It sucks when you lose the drive to the simpler things in life like do good in school. It sucks knowing that you have failed. Even more so, it sucks knowing you have failed others in the process of failing yourself. 

Of my brother and sister, and myself, I have always been the "brightest crayon in the box." But what good is that if this bright crayon refuses to color? That is, what good is it being the "smartest" if I don't even use that "talent" as my 10th grade teacher would call it. I wouldn't call myself lazy... it's just that I've lost the drive to succeed altogether. I'm not ranked number one and not even getting straight A's for the remainder of my high school years will put in the top 10 students. So , why even try? It's not that I'm not making any efforts, because believe me, I AM. My problem is I don't exercise my true, full potential. What a waste, really.